I have spoken to many friends lately about careers and how we want to do everything and have it all! For me it is a constant in my mind about what to do, and this situation seems to appear often! I am not sure if society still has the opinion of mum staying at home and keeping the family or our own guilt of not ‘being there’ for our children!
I have worked the busy job where meetings and time away are necessary. With very early starts and sometimes very late nights, and it’s hard! It really is tough snatching moments when you can. Being on call 24/7 is a killer too! When your phone rings at the most inconvenient times like during dinner or bath time! Or times when you need the kids to be quiet but they are really noisy so you hide in a room and they are banging at the door trying to get in! Or running around after you, when all you need to do is end the call but can’t! Other times they are so quiet, then your phone rings, cue fighting, arguing or the noisiest toys being played with! Yep! I have been there, wore the T-shirt and all that jazz! (Having said all of the above! I kind of do miss that job, the dressing smart, the socialising! Maybe because it was a part of my life for so long. Crazy? Perhaps…..!)
It really is a tough one though, as I want to be able to provide the very best for my children but I also want to be there for them too, so what do you choose? And, what do you do? Something has to give, or does it? I am not so sure of it either way! But which one do you give if that’s the option? I suppose that it all comes down to circumstance! The career, the partner or no partner, your family network, childcare options and so forth! It is a totally personal choice and one, that each individual has to make on their own with their respective families taking into account all angles.
But a difficult one all the same! I know for me, we are so active as a family that I cannot bare not being there for the school trips when volunteers are requested, the special assemblies, the reading mornings!
Fortunately I have been to a few, and I have been on at least two trips each so far so I am totally grateful for that!
But I miss the school run, I miss taking them into school or collecting them, I miss checking in with the teachers to see how they are doing regularly, and I miss catching up with other mums too! When I get the chance to do the school run I do enjoy it which is lovely. (I don’t always get to catch up with teachers or mums on these occasions anyhow!)
I also think that I have a massive work ethic where I love to work! (I think I get that from my parents.) I also love to study! Even if money was no problem and I won the lottery (I definitely am going to win the jackpot soon!) I think that I would have to do something! I am pretty sure that I would at some point get bored at home. Maybe I could just study forever! Or travel! Or both! (Now that’s a plan.) Perhaps! 😍🙈
But until the lottery win I have to work, and work full time!
I am however very lucky and in a great position that I love my job and work full time but term time only, which means that for the majority of the year I get to spend it with my gorgeous three. I don’t work weekends and I am not on call, when I close that door, my day is done until tomorrow, and for that I am totally grateful on every level!
I suppose you could say that I am actually combining both work and family, but for sure it is hard and it is tiring!
Am I happy? Yes ! Truly, I am! 💪✋️👍👌
For now my choice is to raise my children in the best way I know how, and to be the best version of myself at work, and do the best job that I can. Maybe in the future I could have a career again, and move through the ranks, maybe when they are in high school. 😍😍 or maybe I am content in the position I am in now.
Again though no matter which route we choose, everything always gets done! I suppose it’s time that’s solves the issue. Less downtime, less sleep time, getting up earlier to start the day, whatever you choose though, we always seem to make it work! Anything worth having is worth working hard for, and I have always done that. 💪
When I was working many hours a week and weekends, I still ran the house, I still tried to have a tidy living space and home cooked meals, maybe we didn’t always have ironed clothes 🙈and maybe the local Indian takeaway was on speed dial! 😫 But we did it, we all did it! Now that was with 2 children, and before homework and after school activities! I don’t know how practical that would be today. It was a balancing act. I was juggling.
For now though I hear all of you with the decisions that we make as both individuals and mothers! Do what’s right for you and your family, we are all ‘winging it.’ Good luck! 😘